“Salon 45 afforded the space for a warm and thoughtful exchange. We shared stories, perspectives, and most of all, things we’re each ‘chewing on’. I loved the opportunity to both listen and share. Regina and Marsha set the stage with valuable topics, then followed up with terrific questions. I had a wonderful evening.” ~ Salon 45 Participant
I was profoundly moved and impacted by Friday night’s Salon 45+.
The Salon was for just for women 45 and over. I am 38. I had more than a few women younger than 45 contact me with a request to participate in the conversation. Not a surprise, really. I had to be firm with the boundary in order to really allow for magic to happen with the women who needed and were calling to be with their own. And I am so glad I did. For me, however, I was spoiled. Lucky. Honored and humbled to be listening in on such an intimate, critical conversation. Marsha Shenk (age 68) led the conversation and I simply shut up and listened.
The Difference
What I heard surprised me. Not in ways that were shocking, but more like, surprised me in that I could see and feel how different the concerns, commitments and questions I ask myself are than these women do. They are no longer asking about whether they look good or if they are okay (which, if we face it, is a lot of what we younger women ask ourselves… if you think you don’t, just think about bikini season). But these women are asking, much richer, more advanced questions:
How do I feel?
Who do I want to be hanging out with?
What will enrich my life?
What do I really want?
What do I want people to rely on me for?
I have x amount of years left, what do I want to do with my life in those years?
To say I felt like a lucky little fly on the wall is an understatement. It’s not a bad thing that I am younger and still more preoccupied with some of the “younger” type questions, but it was clear to me the difference. And, if in the past I had concerns about aging, I really saw the beauty, the goodness, the joy, the FUN in aging. Who knew? I actually have a different relationship to my own future and aging now. I’m telling you, I was blown away.
And, as I suspected… the conversation was deep. Quickly. Nothing superficial. The honesty was out on the table right from the introductions. Here’s who I am; my age, my beauty, my shit. Nothing to hide, here’s me. Next? It was such a different experience than the other Salon’s it was almost like we were in another country (expect with my cats and my fireplace).
Marsha Shenk led the conversation so that each woman got a bit of her own coaching and others’ got learning through listening-in as they went. The “aha’s” going off in the room were abundant and brilliant. All the women stayed for hours after and still left wanting more.
Grateful
I am so glad that I listened to my intuition and did this. I knew there was something distinctly different I was hearing from the comments from the women “of a certain age” in my regular Salons. And this Salon 45+ gave the space not just for these women’s voices to be distinct, totally heard and gotten, but to really move something- inside themselves, inside each other. And certainly inside me.
It’s unclear as to when the next Salon 45+ will be, but rest assured… it will happen. If you’d like to participate, please let me know!
Special thanks to Marsh Shenk for leading this exceptional Salon and special thanks to the women who my guests and participated. So much love to you.
xo,
regina